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My sadist Yoga teacher.

It was like Tales from the Crypt in there and my teacher was some combination of Jigsaw, The Wicked Witch of the West and the Woman in Black — book, not film. She waited until we did THREE SETS OF WARRIOR TWO, two complete with the vine and bird of paradise, two sets of tree and standing bow to say, “You guys do NOT have enough energy today.”

WHAT WERE WE JUST DOING? Fun fact — I do not respond well to drill sergeant/middle school P.E. teacher/overly enthusiastic exercise science major motivation. I turn into the kid I was in middle school P.E., giggling away at the ridiculousness of it, then laying on the floor. 

So then she brought out max chatarungas. I can do one in the flow, so three is extremely laughable. Not only am I weak in upper body strength, I’m not coordinated enough to do three push ups and still flow with grace. I look like a weird turtle with a towel stuck to my legs, dragging itself on the floor. Then we did a second set of crescent lunge. Fine, okay. 

And then I hear, “Since you guys are so tired we better do energization breaths and make a chi ball!”  Wide-legged squats and upper body rotation while in said straddle squat position….60 minutes into class. 

And then, like all things, it came to an end. It was a different, but interesting experience. Then I went home and I was like:

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